Several decades ago, Neil and I chose an obstetrician who was an advocate of the relatively new Lamaze method of “natural childbirth.” He had written a book on the subject early in the year our children (twins) were born. The title of his book came to my mind today as I was considering what to write for this HINT. The book was called Awake and Aware. Being awake and aware is a good, but sometimes challenging, goal for those of us with ADHD!

Of course, Dr. Irwin Chabon’s book title referred to the fact that mothers practicing Lamaze would ideally not be heavily drugged during childbirth. They would instead be “awake and aware” throughout the birth. Today I’m thinking of his title’s relevance not to childbirth, but to living more consciously and intentionally with ADHD. 

Even when we are apparently “awake,” many of us are lost in our heads – thinking, ruminating, pondering, creating, reliving, etc. We are technically awake, but we are not aware of what is going on in the present moment. Many of the challenges of ADHD make it difficult for us to be aware of where we are in time and space in the present moment. Our brains are often occupied stimulating themselves with busy thoughts. Someone might even say to us, "Hello! Earth to you!” as they attempt to bring us back to the present moment.

One of the executive functions that many of us could benefit from strengthening is metacognition. Metacognition is an important piece of self-awareness. The prefix “meta-“ means beyond. So metacognition is beyond cognition, or beyond thinking. Basically it's “thinking about your thinking,” or "being aware of what you are aware of." It’s being "awake and aware!"

Sometimes I use with my clients the metaphor of the difference between, on the one hand, a simple actor rehearsing a scene and, on the other hand, an actor/director rehearsing the same scene. The simple actor might lose himself or herself in the scene, but the actor/director seeks to reserve a part of his or her awareness for an ongoing overview of how the scene is playing out. 

When you are functioning as a simple actor you are likely to feel as though you have very limited choice about directions in which to steer the present scene, and you are probably paying limited attention to learning what you might wish to do differently in future similar scenes. As an actor/director, on the other hand, you are paying attention to "where you are in time and space," and you thus have the option to choose how the scene plays out. As the director, you are free to pause, respond to circumstances, consider what action will serve you best, and perhaps make some different decisions.

Often many scenarios are playing in our brains at one time. This can make metacognition (thinking about what we’re thinking about) very challenging and unfamiliar to most of us. But, we can begin to train our metacognition “muscle” by taking tiny steps toward becoming more awake and aware.

How have you been able to bring your awareness into the present moment, even for brief periods of time? Right now, as you read this, is your mind somewhere else? And what about your awareness of where your body is? Are you grounded with your feet solidly on the floor or earth? Where is tension being held? Is your breathing slow and deep, or rapid and shallow. Practicing that kind of awareness at least occasionally throughout the day will begin to strengthen your capacity for awareness, and thus for choice.

When you are aware of where you are in time and space, you have stepped out of the story. Now you, instead of the story, are in charge. By pausing, aware of the present moment, you have given yourself the opportunity to choose your next action – to respond rather than to react. That’s huge!